Recently a friend told me that she didn't feel like her house was a good fit. From the outside it was perfect. But for some reason it just never felt right. I didn't even take a pause before telling her to start looking for a new home. Life is too short. Always follow your intuition. And, I continued, for someone else it will be the perfect fit. It's actually selfish to hold on to it. I have said the same thing about another friend's fiance BTW...
I can be a bit hyperbolic at times.
So imagine the pickle of a situation I was in when I first stepped into our Palo Alto home and every single cell in my body was screaming NO. It was intense. And I just wanted to beat a retreat back to Venice. Screw all logic. This wasn't right. This wasn't a YES. How could I ever live with this?
I am basically in love with Marie Forleo, Serendipitously, while I was in full blown flight or fight I stumbled on an interview she did where she said "I am all about following my gut with one caveat, when I am in a new situation and I am afraid."
This was well timed.
I started thinking of the many (yes many) women I have spoken with who confided that when they had their first child they wanted to give it back. Or even my own experience when I found out I was pregnant and just sat and cried. I was completely terrified. Suddenly, I was flooded with memories where fear of something new and uncomfortable was masquerading as intuition.
From now on when faced with the dilemma, "is this my intuition or is it the fear of the unknown?" there are two things I am going remind myself of before taking any action steps. And maybe if you are finding yourself in a similar situation right now, with decisions large or small this pause could be helpful for you as well...
First, unless it is an emergency...It isn't an emergency. There is plenty time and space to make any necessary changes. We are never stuck. There is always a solution for any problem we may find ourselves in.
And secondly, Put all decision making on pause until you regain your sense of empowerment and equilibrium.
Any choice made while out of alignment with your personal power will backfire because you will be making decisions based on fear.
To quote Elizabeth Gilbert, "Basically, your fear is like a mall cop who thinks he’s a Navy SEAL: He hasn’t slept in days, he’s all hopped up on Red Bull, and he’s liable to shoot at his own shadow in an absurd effort to keep everyone “safe.”"
It has now been three months, and while Palo Alto is still not Venice (intuition spot on with that one!) , my discomfort and fear of the new and unknown has passed and I am thankful. For the friends I have met and for the flowers on the table and the perfect white paint on the wall (a newsletter for another day). There are new family cadences and lots of quiet time and space. This is exactly where we are meant to be. And I am so thankful that I allowed my fear to quiet down, so my intuition could speak up.
Sending love and creative magic your way!